Following a Facebook post from a friend requesting for suggestions on ways on how to love himself,
His words were
“My dear friends I need possibilities.
I’m currently experiencing some inner challenges in my life and I’d like to use this opportunity to go back to myself and give love to myself.
Please share with me your wisdom: how can I love myself?
What experiments or practices I could do to give love to myself?
I’d love to hear from you! Thank you”
I wrote the text below, omitting his name with the intention of holding the space. As it might be helpful for others, and even myself in the future. I write it below.
In the end, I also replicate other people insights which I think may complement this text.
Dear Friend
You are alive! This means you actually can still do something about it ;-). I celebrate your life remembering the few moments we had together. May you celebrate it too.
@Swami has said it…look nowhere but within.
Have you experience with Vipassana?
If so, remember Anapana, remember Vipassana, and do please rememeber Metta Bhavana - this one is for all those that need your Love, which I’m certain is of a Great Power.
If not, or if you feel like reading, check below.
Anapana:
Close your eyes for a bit. Focus on your breath for some moments. Where is the air hitting your body…Observe that for some time. Breath in, breathe out. If your attention goes away, all is fine, just come back to the breath. You spend some time there and the mind keeps coming back with the most agonizing thoughts. It’s ok. Go back to the breath. You look into the watch and think there is something very urgent you need to do. It’s ok. Go back to the breath.
While you are at this, you may notice some itching, some pain, just ignore them as much as you can and come back to the breath.
Vipassana:
the 10 day course starts with Anapana the first three days, and follows to Vipassana which is mostly about body-scan meditation - you scan your entire body from top to bottom and bottom to top, part by part. And then again the saying (within Vipassana’s realm) is, this cannot be taught by words and the most effective way of doing is through guided practice in a 10 day retreat. Do check @Pi reference for courses near you.
Metta Bhavana - The love meditation
Recommendation (remembering from Vipassana courses again) is it should be done only if you are in peace with yourself. When you are there, just body-scan again through your body while mentally putting yourself in a state of forgiveness for all the suffering you may have initiated or others may have been feeling, and wish happiness for all with all the cells within your body. You included.
This said, some other exercises/tools that might support you on this discovery process might be some I’ve found helpful and learned from others which are:
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Every day - or whenever you remember - write a few things you are thankful for…both things you have done, and things where others were important. By acknowledging others, you are activating your inner Light. Also, if possible, do thank them in whatever way you feel its the most welcoming for them.
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Every day - write down or just mentally list three things you were successful at.
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Every day - go for a walk in a green area
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Force a Smile (Smiling Yoga) at all the things you are hating right now
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Connect with your most deepest shadow, by thinking on things you blame others or yourself for. For each of these things, identify a list of situations (journaling mode might help) where you had an attitude like the ones you are blaming and where everything seemed right. After (inspired from Sociocracy 3.0) for these current situations, look around at what your needs are. What is the context that is generating these needs? Who are the actors in this context? Hey…What are the needs of each of these actors?..and when you finished listing these needs like they were questions, go into a brainstorming to think of ways to address each need. "Should I do anything about it…should be a first question…What happens if I don’t do anything about it? Will I want to try and just wait for a bit? If you choose to do something check: Is there anything very concrete I can do right now to address this? Like…I’m thirsty, so I’ll drink some water…Or maybe you need to setup an agreement and say…"whenever this context is present and these needs emerge I shall … " or go on and build a full strategy to satisfy those needs … or identify the qualities and the skills you think are needed to address those needs (call it a role)…or, hey…just realize you actually need a team…a guy to get the water from the river, another to find ways to store it on the desert…
One other thing that may help is: reframing - C’mon man…You can still come to facebook and post with pictures! - and well…remember the last time a similar situation happened in your life - and how you went threw it like a warrior with butterfly wings ? - Check http://thedanishway.com/how-reframing-results-in-happy-parents-and-kids/
- Well…and yes…I don’t like to repeat, and yet, no meditation is alike. Practicing Anapana, Vipassana or Metta Bhavana, alone or with others may help.
May you, friend, and all be happy
A lot of very wiseful comments were written also. I wish that somehow they may be shared and kept alive. I’ve asked this friend to compile and have the intention of sharing them here somehow.